By the Left Horizons political fashion critic
Political fashion houses are agog at Keir Starmer’s apparently inexaustible supply of new collections. His latest, Labour’s Six Steps was launched on the the catwalk in front of a hand-picked audience of the Party faithful.
Critics were expecting a lower number, given that ‘ten’ and ‘five’ had already been used up, so it was a surprise that he went for ‘six’. Most observers believe that designs coming out of House of Starmer are actually drawn up by chinless wonders who have never sold a dress or a suit in their lives, but that might be overly cynical.
It is notable that Keir has gone for ‘steps’ on this occasion – that is clearly something of a risk, although after his ‘pledges’ failed and his ‘missions’ found little support in the High Street, there were not many options available. Gurus of high fashion thought he might at least have gone for ‘word of honour’ ‘commitment’ or ‘assurance’ this time. ‘Covenant’, ‘guarantee’ and ‘oath’ were clear outsiders, but obviously ‘steps’ is a good fit for the man and woman in the street.
There was a short flurry of excitement earlier in the week when Starmer offered a single commitment – or it may have been a promise, or a pledge (no-one seems certain) – at the TULO fashion event on Tuesday, but it now looks like that was only a warm-up for the main event, the Six Steps.
There is no word yet as to whether Starmer will commit (pardon the double–entendre) his new designs to a tombstone, like one of his predecessor designers, the ill-fated Ed Millstone. As all critics are aware, political fashions come and go. Unfortunately for House of Starmer, this latest one is likely to disappear as quickly as all of his previous collections.
Or as in the “Steps” song – Tragedy!
Sirs, one has to wonder whether this will go the same way as with that famous filmic line “Where are the 39 steps ?”…….
We have already “where are the ten pledges ?”
“Where are the four missions?” and so it will proceed to the next General Election….